Lately I've been finding myself frustrated at even the smallest things, but mostly the bigger, more important stuff. I have to work really hard to get beyond this and have an overall positive attitude so this "stuff" which I will talk a little bit about doesn't bring me down. I have this thing I do, lol, in my head. When something goes wrong, and typically its more of a health frustration, I take a minute no matter what I'm doing and I stop to think about how I can react. I'll say more about this throughout the post....
So, for the last couple of months I've been dealing with rather crippling pain in my abdomen and nausea/vomiting. This is intermittent but comes alot and its been so bad that I've been to the ER multiple times for it. Of course I've been to see my regular specialists, and was recently hospitalized trying to find some answers. In which, they found nothing to explain this other than a parastomal hernia which isn't a very good explaination. On top of the GI stuff my migraines are horrible and I just don't feel good. OK. I'm done complaining now.
So obviously I really think that anyone would be frustrated and feel really isolated by this. At least I do. No one has answers. You start to wonder if that makes you crazy. I'm fortunate enough to know it doesn't because I've been down this road before. But how do you get past these frustrations in life without going crazy or driving everyone around you crazy. I mostly keep these struggles to myself with the exception of my providers but thats honestly a bad thing to do. And the issues you face that are frustrating in your life may have nothing to do with your health. Marriage, finances, jobs, relationships, etc.
This thing I do in my head, I stop and think how can I react. We can't choose what happens to us, but we can choose how we react usually. I try to think how it could be worse. And then sometimes it actually does get worse...but it still could yet get worse. I've seen alot throughout my experiences with my health and in working in healthcare as well. I've watched 2 people die in front of me in my lifetime. I've sat with a widow as her young husband died in the next room. I've seen young children at the Mayo with cancer taking over their little bodies and they still have smiles on their face. I could go on but I won't.
The frustrations we face today really won't be such an issue in a week or a month, maybe give it a year. Obviously I know my health probably isn't going to be ideal in a year either but I know that I'm not in control of that, and that there are so many positive things to look at everyday if I choose to. Even just when it comes to my health. We can all find posiitives in our lives even if we want to. This can be hard sometimes, especially if we are very depressed. I've been there so I get it but I wish someone had taken more time to show me the positives when I couldn't find them myself. They were there, I just couldn't see them. As for the rest of us, look for the positives beyond our frustrations. I'm not saying there isn't suffering, but there is hope beyond the pain we go through. Just look around you.
"I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord." Psalm 40: 1-3